Thankfulness & Thanklessness

Truly, I am an extremely flawed individual. In so may ways. In so many lights. From. SO. Many. Different. Angles.

BUT.

My Lord has truly blessed me. 

10 months ago, everything seemed to be going in a completely different direction then I had hoped. I was going through an extremely difficult time emotionally, mentally, and physically. I had very little idea about my future. My relationships with the people I loved seemed fragile, strained, and bitter (due to surrounding circumstances). Spiritually, you could say I was just hanging on to a rope of mercy, bound with fibers of du’a and salah. It took a long time to get out of that pit. But every climb on the way up was a mercy from Allah, everything was showing me how deep I actually had fallen, and maybe I was already there for years but didn’t notice.

It was a reckoning beyond anything I could have thought would happen to me. A severe lesson that would not let up until I took on some humility, learned, and passed.

SubhanAllah!

Everything is different now, Alhamdulillah. I feel like I’ve come so far that I couldn’t even turn back if I tried, if I wanted to. I feel like my life was cut in half; brutally severed beyond repair. And Allah cauterized the wound. Sealed it. Remade the flesh and is now healing the scar, Allahu Akbar. God is Great. Alhamdulillah.

It is shameful how little I remember the weight of the mercy I’ve been given. It’s shameful that I’m not constantly in prostration…because Allah (SWT) has answered my du’a’s. Many of them. Whatever He has left hidden for now…I trust will be given in the future or in the akhira, inshAllah.

These days…I thank Allah for giving me Muslim parents, who not only raised me and taught me the Oneness of God, but who also strive to seek knowledge and forgiveness themselves. Who don’t get caught up in careers and culture and superficiality. Who, everyday, remind me of the importance of salah and good character. May Allah reward them in the highest possible manner by giving them the highest rank a Muslim could want. May Allah forgive them for all transgressions, bless them eternally by giving them a life that mirrors their life in Jannah, and May Allah grant them that: Jannah. Ameen

 I seek forgiveness from Allah for my thanklessness regarding my parents…from behavior ill-fitting towards them. I seek forgiveness from Allah for not being thankful for everything I have been given. Alhamdulillah for everything that I have been forgiven for. 

7 billion people in the world, and an unspeakable number of them in poverty, illness, misery. Addiction. Debt. Evil. Corruption. Misguidance. Abuse.

Alhamdulillah for everything. Allahu Akbar. 

 

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